The Marvelous, Unrelenting Weight of Existential Awe

Nothing's wrong—you're just communing with the infinite.

It gets deep, friend.

The intimidating vastness of being and becoming, of meaning and meaninglessness, when all you wanna do is connect the dots that’ll reveal a picture of certainty. Of stability.

And all you get is question marks.

The mind wants an answer.
Some kind of resolution.

But the nature of being doesn’t deal in answers or resolutions. It deals in raw experience. Myth and meaning become mental maps, but sometimes there's just no balm for the existential weight that sinks heavy into the soul—

When it feels like you're floating in the middle of a vast, endless ocean.

And there's nothing to do but to be with it. Craft meaning from it. Create art from it. Or just marvel in shooketh awe at the supreme WTF of it all.

There’s this deep conditioning—let’s call it the modern psyche’s sickness—that tells us every moment’s gotta be optimized. Every experience must have a clear structure and purpose. Every journey’s gotta unfold according to some invisible rubric of doing it right.

But nature doesn’t operate that way.

Nature just keeps unfolding, revealing, blooming, dying, emerging, submerging, tesselating. No end points, no tidy resolutions.

Just cycles, seasons, and spirals.

So let’s try this one on:

There’s no wrong way to be in this wilderness of life. There’s only being in it. Adapting. Responding. Enduring. Learning. Sometimes thriving, sometimes struggling. Sometimes that restless thing in-between.

And life itself? It doesn’t validate or condemn. It’s neither for you nor against you. It just is—in deep communion with you.

You’re in the raw experience of becoming, and that process is by nature uneasy, uncertain, untamed. This is what you’re built for. This is how nature saw fit to do its thing. And that thing it’s doing? That’s you.

Nature is doing you.

The whole cosmos is doing you.

It’s the most awe-inspiring, mind-fucking miracle.

Maybe the challenge isn’t in doing it right, but in surrendering to the fact that there’s no right way. There’s just your way. And trusting in that. Trusting in the ancient, primal intelligence that’s alive in your body right now—the instinctual know-how of survival, mythmaking, and building the future.

Even when the vastness feels overwhelming… even when the labyrinth of meaning and meaninglessness leaves you feeling lost… what if you just let it be?

And going back to trust:

The settling in of things, the tendency of things to work out. Leaning into what matters now—what can be done now—in tenacious self-alliance, an irrational helping of faith, and a little help from someone who cares about you.

The anxiety and self-doubt will pass.

The vastness will remain.

And so will you.

Stay gold. Rootin' for ya.
See ya next time.

–Daniel

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